I suppose it's disgusting and no one really wants to see it, but I was trying to figure out if I could take non-revealing photos of my skin. Earlier today I thought it looked like a pig... mottled, vaguely snout-like... it's okay, people, you can laugh. It's interesting, because my tech made the comment that my nipple was really sensitive - and yes, it did change colors before the rest of me - but it totally hasn't hurt. There's only one real area that's been tender (under the arm) and a little very tiny bit under my breast. Hence I'm extra glad for being done... they haven't gotten that bad yet. And now most of it can start healing up. Seemed like the tech thinks my skin looks pretty bad, but honestly, based on what they described I thought it would look way worse. And my doctor seems pleased, but I think that's because it looks like what he expects... he's pleased with his craft, rather than my experience.
Something that is weirding me out completely is the total silence from so many people. I wonder if I have done this to others? But it seems bizarre that if I send out a note saying, "yay, I'm done!" no one would say, "Great! Fabulous!" It's seems weird that when I got done with surgery, there were a few folks who couldn't be bothered to wish me well. What the fuck, people? I'd hope they'd check on me at any rate, but barring that, if someone purposely contacts you it seems only polite to reply to wish them well. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that people are trying to be sensitive and not say the wrong thing or not bother me or what have you, but WTF, people, WTF? I'm not dead and I'm not dying and if physically I'm not up to something, I'll let you know. Otherwise, don't worry about it.
Anyway. Mom and I are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate and there just might be a glass of wine in my future.
2 comments:
I can't speak for others ... but I think sometimes we fear saying the wrong thing, and so we say nothing. "I'm happy for you" seems wildly inappropriate, and yet what else is there to say? It seems as if "assistance is impossible and condolence, insufferable." It's not an excuse. Just an observation.
Oddly enough, I've often heard people say that the same thing happens when someone does die - no one knows what to say to the survivor(s), so they say nothing, sort of pretending it didn't happen, which leads to a lot of tension and frustration.
Actually, in my case I think, "I'm happy for you" is perfectly appropriate. If I were dying, not so much. Or maybe, "kick ass and take names, sistah!"
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