52 Songs, Week 5: "The Wood Song" by Indigo Girls

I'm all about lyrics, you know.  Unless it's about the drumbeat.

The Wood Song, by Indigo Girls is quite a fall song for me.  Fall is the time for gathering for me: reconnecting, celebrating, etc.  This song is about those connections: going on the journey with your friends, and all you have to bind you together is love.  It's not an easy journey, and there's no guarantees, and you have to hang on to get through.  The prize is always worth the rocky ride, however, and the journey is shaped by a greater hand of love... I can scarcely think of a better expression of how I feel about friendship and community. 

the thin horizon of a plan is almost clear
my friends and I have had a hard time
bruising our brains hard up against change
all the old dogs and the magician

now I see we're in the boat in two by twos
only the heart that we have for a tool we could use
and the very close quarters are hard to get used to
love weighs the hull down with its weight

chorus:
but the wood is tired and the wood is old
and we'll make it fine if the weather holds
but if the weather holds then
we'll have missed the point
that's where i need to go

no way construction of this tricky plan
was built by other than a greater hand
with a love that passes all our understanding
watching closely over the journey

yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide
seems more than all the courage i can muster up inside
but we get to have some answers when we reach the other side
the prize is always worth the rocky ride

chorus

sometimes i ask to sneak a closer look
skip to the final chapter of the book
and maybe steer us clear from some of the pain that it took
to get us where we are this far

but the question drowns in its futility
and even i have got to laugh at me
cause no one gets to miss the storm of what will be
just holding on for the ride


chorus

52 Songs, Week 4: When In Rome, "The Promise"

With my 20th high school reunion coming up this weekend, it seems appropriate to revisit the song that was the theme for my Junior Encounter:  "The Promise" from When in Rome.

If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I'll always be there.
And when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around, and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.

When your day is through, and so is your temper,
You know what to do, I'm gonna always be there.
Sometimes if I shout, it's not what's intended.
These words just come out, with no gripe to bear.
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.

Junior Encounter was something we did at Bellarmine, where half of the junior girls would go for a weekend (there were encounters for boys, too) and get to know each other and in theory get closer to god, too.  The latter part didn't work so well for me, but the first part did a lot toward breaking down the walls that we like to put up between one another.

When you arrived at Junior Encounter, you stood around outside waiting while the Team finished getting ready.  There we were, somewhat awkward, trying to be cool.  They start playing the theme song - over and over and over and over.  What a great message: I'll be there for you.  Yes, the song appears a bit more romantic, but it speaks to the commitment of bad days and times when you probably don't even like each other... but being there for one another.

A peek from behind the veil

My sister took a bunch of floppy disks that we had (what are those?) and had them converted to CD where they could get loaded onto computers.  The files are from around 1994-2000.  Many of them are my dad's, who died in 1996.

I started cranking through them and opening them up the other day.  It's interesting how much writing provides a voice: so easy to hear my dad, hear his thinking, hear him talking to me.  A little wave from the other side: this person passed here, and in fact, they did leave a record of their having passed here.

One of the more interesting files is a laundry list of ideas he had to write about:

"Time is always too short and no path is long enough for lovers." Ivo Andric

Question if all thought, genius, creativity, criminality, insanity, etc. etc. are caused by certain biochemical reactions and nothing more or is there a Pattern or Plan behind it.

****Can a new 1914 come and take it all away? Is Balkanization within nations or between nations desireable? or in the long term, possible?

Can confederation work over time? Doesn't someone have to be in charge? Must there be war at the interface?

Why aren't Greek statues circumcised?

Spuds McKenzie gets pregnant.

One he clearly wanted to do, that seems particulalry appropriate today:

******Does sincerity, even fervor, justify the abandoning of DUTY?

So many more... probably a hundred stories he might have written, but never got the chance to.

Today as I drove home from Sumner, I saw two people set up with a sandwich board that said, "Pull over to impeach Barack Obama."    Nearly as I'm aware, he hasn't done anything impeachable.  More disturbing was coming up the hill to Bonney Lake and seeing another group of people with the same set up... only this Barack Obama has a Hitler mustache.  Ofergodsakes, people.  Do you think they have any idea of who Hitler is?  Do you think they get the magnitude of the destruction he caused?  Do you think they know how many people died as a result of him??  I want to ignore them, and I want to throttle them.  The disconnect from any sort of rational thought... is just down the street from me.  Geez.

52 Songs, Week 3: "Lake of Silver Bells"

I'm fond of saying there's a Carbon Leaf song for everything.  Hoodie sweatshirts?  Check.  Cars?  Check.  War?  Check.  Flying?  Check.  Trees?  Check.  Etc.  I love Carbon Leaf, and you'll see a few more songs from them as this year rolls along.

"The Lake of Silver Bells" to me is about dreaming and merging the dream into the reality.  It's about the time where you see what you want so clearly and you bring it into yourself.  The song is a kind of dare: leadership is lonely and it's often thankless; everyone is a critic, but no one wants to help build.  Yet if you dare, if you bring the real and the unreal together, you can live dangerously happy. 

The ending is the call to action: 

"You miss the place you never had
But what you need's not just the dream"

You don't get credit for having the idea; you get credit for your actions. 

"The Lake of Silver Bells" 
Float from the balcony

We ride the pine top swells
Down from the old hotel
On the lake of Silver Bells
Leading is lonely
When you make alone decisions
Leading is lonely
When you're dancing through derisions
So much left for giving
In the year of living dangerously happy
On the lake of Silver Bells

Light flickers by
A hundred suns behind the trees
Melts us in a lullaby
Our eyelids are like movie screens
And we close our eyes
And feel the warmth come into frame
We close our eyes
Until our dreams become one and the same
So much left for giving
In the year of living dangerously happy
On the lake of Silver Bells

We dance across till we drop
The bells keep time and never stop
We sleep and we wake
To muffled chimes out on the lake
We dance across till we drop
The bells keep time and never stop
We sleep and we wake
On the lake of Silver Bells

We've reached a secret place
To rest and reconcile
We close our eyes
The only change is no change for a while

We'll buy the old hotel
And we will make this place our own
And fill each room with sons and daughters
And never be alone

Looking passed the love you face
You miss the place you never had
But what you need's not just the dream
But something on the other end
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
You're much too fast asleep

"America is not a country that hates someone because of their religion."

Last night I got to see Eboo Patel speak. 

Okay, that's just about the worst picture ever, but I don't have much by way of control on my smartphone camera. 

Eboo spoke about Interfaith Leaders and religious pluralism.

His narrative had four parts... what leaders do; American heroes; Interfaith theology; and then how Interfaith leaders behave.  He not only delivered an inspiring speech, but a technically brilliant one.  His cadence was phenomenal.  He pace was measured, even, precise, clear; and then he would pause, or repeat and reuse a phrase for emphasis:

"People will quote this verse and that verse from the Bible

People will quote this verse and that verse from the Qu'ran

People will quote this chapter and that verse from American history..."

The shading of emphasis on chapter, the changing from one form to another, the repetion... it was masterful.

As for his speech, he took us quickly through his arguments. 

Leaders do one thing first:  get the enemy right.

The enemy is not Islam.  The enemy is extremism, wherever it is found. 

Leaders define reality.  We live in a pluralism vs. extremism world. 

He transitioned this to the story of America, that we were the first nation to be of different backgrounds and different religions, and erect a nation. 

America is based on love, not hate.  There is a history of inclusion in America.  We are part of the narrative of inclusion."

He spoke of our founding fathers - of the first Muslim congressman going to the Library of Congress and asking for Thomas Jefferson's copy of the Qu'ran.  Of George Washington, saying, "Bigotry will be given no quarter here."  Of the freedom of religion that was at the very core of our nation's founding, and even of the more modern heroes of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the voices of  inclusion.

But I'll tell you, Washington is not leading this parade.  Martin Luther King, Jr., is not in this fight.  We are the present and future heroes.  We are the ones who must write the next chapter of inclusion."

In the beginning of Islam, Mohammed was terrified of the prophecies he understood.  His wife took him to her brother, who was a Christian monk.  The brother affirmed Mohammed and said, "You are your people's prophet."

The beginnings of Islam are interfaith.

He spoke about religious inclusion: about those who see that to serve your religion means defending those who are oppressed, whether they are of your religion or not.  A Jewish Rabbi in the civil rights movement said, "The soul of Judaism is at stake in the civil rights movement."  In World War II, a U.S. minister in Poland took the money given to him by his congregation, and used it to get a group of Jews out of Poland.  a member of his congregation wrote and asked, "Why did you do that?  They were not even Christian!"  His reply was, "No, but I am." 

Regardless of your religion, to serve it means to be in service for others, regardless of who they are.

So what is it for us to do?

Interfaith leaders speak out.  They mobilize.  They stand up for others.  Intolerance is not welcome here.  In America, we don't discriminate against any religion.

It is so simple, and so true: get the enemy right.  The enemy is not Islam.  The enemy is not any single organization or single, easily labeled "other."  The enemy is extremism.  The enemy is seeing people as no more than a label, and judging based solely on that appearance.  The enemy is hatred of others.

The questions following the speech for the most part were fantastic, and Eboo such a patient and wonderful listener.  He gave respect and consideration even to those who clearly came with their own agenda; he affirmed what they said that was true and showed them that the extremism of which they spoke is precisely what he is against.  His comment was, "when you do those kinds of acts, you have walked out of religion."  Those people are no longer Muslim or Christian or other religion... they are extremists and that is what they are serving.

Do things that bring others together and serve others.  Find the words that you need to say.

One young lady said she didn't know what words to use to have these conversations.  Eboo replied with his own story.  When he was in high school, his best friend was Jewish.  This friend was targeted by some school bullies; Eboo said nothing and tried to fade into the background.   A few years later, his friend asked him why he had done nothing, why he hadn't stood with his friend.  Eboo decided that if it was because he didn't know what to say, he was going to find the words he needed to stand up for his friend.  And so this life was born.

This weekend in Florida a church wants to burn 200 Qu'rans because it is a "religion of the devil."  I am grateful to see so many political leaders speaking out and condemning this, from General Petraeus down.  The pastor in Florida does not serve God; he serves hate.  Communities are coming together to protest and to stand in solidarity with Muslims across the U.S.  I'll be there on Saturday.  It is not okay.  Intolerance is not okay; inclusion is the chapter I will write.  I will be there to Stand on the Side of Love.

I came away so inspired and so aware of the need to be active instead of passive.  Active in love, in spreading the example of love. 

52 Songs, Week 2: "This is the World Calling"

I saw a picture tonight of Mark Hamill, aka Luke Skywalker, in his early Luke days.  The photo was intended as a doppelganger of the person, and his friend had commented, "Who's that?"

:(

Hence I shall not assume my paltry cadre of readers knows who Bob Geldof is. 

Bob Geldof scored some big hits in the early 80s as part of the band, "Boomtown Rats," most particularly a tragic song called, "I don't like Mondays."  Then he fell off the charts and he spent his way into oblivion again.  Until the famine in Africa turned up as a media cause, at which point he organized musicians into "Band Aid" along with Midge Ure, wrote a little song called, "Do they know it's Christmastime?" then went on to organize Live Aid, and subsequently became Sir Bob. 

After the problem passed beyond regular media coverage and Sir Bob descended once again into semi-obscurity, his wife ran off with Michael Hutchens (of INXS), then Michael died, then his ex-wife died, and he's wound up raising their child with her half-sisters. Pretty his life ain't, but he's not run out on it yet.

So perhaps with more than small touch of autobiography he penned, "This is the World Calling."  I think of this song as a bit of a bent love letter from the universe... the universe is calling, but he's not really sure how to answer it.  The world wants you here... but sometimes it is hard to answer back to the universe and affirm that the beauty and the quiet are meant for you.

On the same album, Sir Bob has a song called, "The Great Big Song of Indifference," which is less optimistic than this one... in this one, at least, there is a struggle still going on. 

Worth a listen.

"This is the World Calling"
I hear a heartbeat

It's ringing out across the universe
It sounds so lost and lonely
Must come from somewhere deep inside of us.

And the operator says:
All is calm and all is quiet
Close your eyes and sleep tonight.
This is the world calling
This is earth
This is the world calling
This is us.

I'm on a train now
I'm moving through the yellow fields of rape*
There's so much beauty
I wished that I believed enough to pray.

Then the operator replies:
Spinning 'round
You're wrapped in blue
There's no one looks as good as you.

This is the world calling
This is earth
This is the world calling
This is us

This is the world calling
This is us
And it goes on and on.

What we're going to do because we can't go on

What we're going to do because we can't go on
Wrap me in your arms and keep me warm tonight.
What we're going to do because we can't go on

This is the world calling
this is earth
this is the world calling
this is us

This is the world calling
this is earth
This is the world calling
God help us
And it goes on and on and on.


*Eurasian plant cultivated for its seed and as a forage crop

Where I'm going

In this case, I mean it metaphorically. 

I've felt for quite a while that I've needed to be doing some things differently.  I have a great structure to my life, and that's nothing to sneeze at.  But I'm not doing as well connecting to people and finding the depth of relationship that I'm craving.  Again, there's a lot of good people in my life, and people I really care about.  But the depth is perhaps not very deep.

Cue Fall Con, where the theme is IndividUUality.  I thought it'd be a good idea to do a workshop on the Enneagram.  9 personality types; not only does it tell you what you're like now, it gives you a good idea of where you're likely to move.  In the past, I have been a 5 (Observer) and an 8 (Achiever).  For those of you who follow, I actually went from a 5 to an 8, which suggestively is backward.  But at least it is on the path.

I'd gotten rid of my old book on the Enneagram, so I decided to get a new one, ordered it from Amazon.  Came the next day.  Sweet.  This book, in contrast to the popular checklists or paired-choice tests of other books, has 9 paragraphs for you to read.  I read them, picked my top 3.  #1 was a 3 (Performer), then 5 (Observer), then 1 (Perfectionist).

This is a little weird, because in theory you shouldn't move between a 5 or 8 and 3; 3 is a triangle pattern with 6 and 9.  Fortunately, the book also tells you "If you think this is your type, here's other ones you might be."  I considered it, and didn't make a decision.  One of the notes said that 3s and 1s can be look-alike types, but a 1 listens to the internal critic, while the 3 is listening to the outer one.

The next day at work, we had a deadline around a project that I've handed off to another person.  I still feel responsible for this work, however.  I feel like if something happens on this project, I'll be held responsible for it.  So I was probably too directive on it and really needed to step out of the way more.  I recognized that very soon, and was thinking about.  Why was I doing that?  Once I realized it was because I thought I'd be blamed if something went wrong, I thought... oh crap.  I am a 3.  I'm listening to the outer critics. 

Then I thought about other areas of my life and realized how much I'm acting in reaction to perceived judgment.  For example, I tend to clean my house because I think someone else would see it and think I'm a slob.  Or - while I love working with you - I will wear myself out worrying that Con will have problems and I'll be blamed.  So I can't let it fail!  Because then someone else would say it is my fault.

And lastly I thought that I have not taken a real vacation in a very long time - since November 2008, when I went to Krista's wedding.  I went to Hawaii for a week (taking care of kids is not downtime); I spent a week at Goldmine (definitely not downtime) and even the couple of long weekends this summer I basically did all the planning for.  Next task, sure.  No problem.  Accomplish it, done.  Goal-setting, all over it. 

On the upside, people behaved very differently around me at the company picnic, so perhaps there is change in the air.  But this was definitely a wake-up about how far I've drifted and how much I need to pull back and change course.

I already let go of some things.  I do need to delegate, and I do need to trust.  I'm going to do something quite frivolous this quarter.  And tomorrow I leave on the Tour de Pizza.  This involves a long weekend, heading for the Oregon coast.  I know where I'm going, but there's room for improvisation.  Everything work-related is staying behind.  No computer.  (Okay, smart phone, but...)

I'll catch you up when I'm back.  Maybe.

Traveling... Again

Apparently I inspire others with my trips.  Knowing that a long weekend is coming up, at least three folks have asked what my plans are...so good of you to wonder.  I'm heading for the Oregon Coast.  This shall informally be dubbed, "The Pizza Tour."

Several months ago, someone mentioned to me a place called "Pizza a fetta" in Cannon Beach, OR.  I'm stopping in, night #1. 

It's not pizza, but it is pie... night #2, Yachats, OR. 

Night #3, maybe, Eugene, OR - Track Town Pizza.  Back in the day - waaaay back in the day - my dad took Jenny and Bonnie to the Olympic Track & Field Trials in Eugene.  This would be 1980, the year the U.S. was banned from going to the Olympics.  (Really, President Carter?  Reallllly?)  When I go through town, I always stop there.

Day #4 - Vancouver, WA - Vancouver Pizza.  I get to see my elementary school teacher, and this will round out the pizza experience.  Sweet.

I realized recently that I am.... entirely too goal-oriented currently, especially in terms of doing things I think others want me to do.    That's not the point.  Hence a trip with no real point.  Hence enjoying the journey instead of the destination.  A write-up once I'm back (and pizza reviews), but I'm so disconnecting for the weekend.