CONada

I spent the weekend with about 125 youth up in Canada... 20 other adults... we're well and truly outnumbered. But it's okay, because the youth are in charge. What was it that was said? We're the container: we form the boundaries. Within that space, however, the creation is up to the youth.

It's a pretty amazing transformation that takes place. Empowerment is a incredible thing. We give them a lot of freedom, and the respond by taking on the responsibility. Hmm, I know a lot of adults that don't do that well with their freedoms.

They also happen to have some pretty fine talents:



Part of the Saturday night no-talent show, or coffee house at they call it in CONada.

The Con was called CONada a) because we're fond of con-puns and b) because it was in Canada, and we were looking at Canadian/American relations.


The main workshop about US & Canadian relations was a bittersweet experience. On one hand, I appreciated the efforts and the learnings. On the other hand, I saw how unbelievably negatively Americans see themselves right now. Canadians were kind, civil, conscientious; Americans were gun-toting, aggressive, xenophobic. While I feel it too, I wish we could have focused a bit more on our good qualities (though it was acknowledged the US has better television programs). We have them, and we need to remember them. It was encouraging that when we sang the national anthem at the end of the talent show (which the non-host country traditionally does), not only did everyone stand, but they sang with gusto. Pride in country is there, wounded though it is.

Also in the main workshop was a group whose skit consisted of observations about health and food in each country. Some of those observations:

“My mother’s a feminist, so she won’t cook for us.”

“My parents are so tired when they get home from working, it’s up to each person to get what they want and fix it.”

“I consider myself an athlete, but I’m still plagued by self-hatred of my body image that seems to affect every teenage american girl.”

There wasn’t a particular resolution to this skit, but the observations made me pause to consider the degree to which we pack things in and how little time we do have in the evening for taking – even making - food together and sharing together. I don’t offer a resolution either, but the observations were a wonderful mirror of our society that reflects our poverty of time. I'd add that while we are constantly connected, we are often not in touch with anyone.

It's hard to explain Con. I think I'll let some excerpts from a poem one of my favorite youth wrote do it for me:

The bell finally sounds
As I race across the school grounds
Traffic moves slowly all around
But I can’t let it get to me today
I get to the church, and from there we head
Not to Heaven, but to Canada instead
North-bound we go, full speed ahead
Nothing can get me today...

...and now we’ve returned
To the real world, to whom it may concern
There’s not much good here, I’ve learned
Something is pulling me down in the world today
The feeling of pure joy I love so much
Instead replaced by a world devoid of touch
No connections can be felt from fear and such
Something is wrong in the world today
Never again will I see some of those faces
Those shining eyes and those tight embraces
Nothing can mimic the times or the places
Something is gone in the world today

From a place where I’m not known
To a place I call my second home
From the bottom of my heart, from the deepest part of my soul:
Thank you to all who made me feel like I’m somebody.

I gotta say, there are those who would argue Canada is heaven, though not, I guess, in a biblical sense. But really - especially those of you who grew up with me going to Catholic school - tell me tell me, if you could have gone out three or four times a year to a place where you could all sleep in a pile and snuggle and hug and kiss... oh my god, I can still imagine the ache I had then for someone to love me. We always get parents who want to know, "where's the religion?" And believe it or not, there is religion. More importantly is not the religion but the spirit... the sense of having a community and of belonging. If you remember how isolated you can feel in high school, I think you get why this is such a powerful experience.

This particular con was incredibly well done. The BC YAC (Youth Advisory Committee) put on the Con and really did a great job of setting the tone and creating the culture. It's probably the most important part to having a really successful con, and they did a great job. It was a small site - we were actually about, oh, 40 people over the number of beds... but when you have youth sleeping in piles all over the place, that doesn't really matter. :) (And we turned down another 20 or so...) It made for a high degree of coziness, as did there being only a handful of new people at this con. And that we were bridging (graduating) about 20 really, really great people, resulting in ongoing and ongoing hugs and no one being able to leave. No wonder we all have con withdrawal afterwards... me too, though my reality is not quite so harsh as the youth.

As at this con I wasn't an adult in charge, I got a lot of sleep, and for two days work did not cross my mind once. That was pretty fabulous.

Roscoe called us "the mothers of Con". I can go with that.
Maybe I can become the GodMother of Cons? A worthy ambition.
From left, Samaya (the adult on this con), me, Tracy, Amber.