Sometimes you feel loved...

I've probably said this before, but when I got divorced, I was unbelievably lonely. I was regularly going to bed around 8 p.m., because I didn't know what else to do with my time. What I knew I didn't want to do was to fill the time with whatever came along, to make myself busy for the sake of being busy. I wanted to have a job, a house, a community, and volunteer work that mattered to me. I wanted to build a community like I saw my parents have a community - people you could count on and ask for help from and give help and service in return.

First of all I got my dream job, at REI. Nearly 4 1/2 years later, it's still my dream job.

I met a Pomonaite at an alumni event, and we became friends.

I bought a house. I love my house. I LOVE my house.

I re-joined up with the Unitarian Universalists. I reconnected with youth work.

A little bit later, I joined my neighborhood home owner's association board.

There was a long time in which it felt like I wasn't really getting anywhere. I was putting in the time and the effort but I felt a lot like I was doing the work and if I walked away... it would be like splashing water in a lake. You can splash all you like, but when you quit splashing, you didn't make much impact.

This past year that has really turned.

My youth group is finally rolling into taking ownership of the group themselves and running with it.

The youth leadership is pretty strong, though there's still challenges on the horizon.

My HOA... some good work done there. Feel like I'm part of the community more.

Today... Father's Day is the day my father died. Not June 20; it was June 16, but it was Father's Day that year.

My Pomona friend called me to say he wanted to be sure that I was having a good day and to thank me for being in his & his partner's life.

When I got home, a parent of one of the youth I work with IM'ed me to thank me for my work with youth.

Being at the Goldmine reunion this weekend, one of the youth said, "So... are you going to keep doing this... forever? Please?"

And I had a campout in the backyard with my niece last night, who tends to talk more bravely than she acts, but she slept the entire night in the tent with me. This morning she said, "Annie, it's time to get up!" Then she added, "We should sleep in the tent again tonight." It's awesome to be able to introduce someone to the outdoors.

Sometimes you feel lonely. And sometimes you feel very, very loved. I am so grateful for all that I have.