What about everything?

Holiday quiet on these streets, except for some stubborn leaves
That didn't fall with the fall, and now they clatter in vain
Holiday sky, midnight clear
Wind is high, hard to steer
Old muffler rumbles like an old fighter plane
In search of some rest, in search of a break
From a life of tests where something's always at stake
Where something's always so far
What about my broken car?
What about my life so far?
What about my dream?
What about.....

When people ask how I'm doing lately, I say it's been a little boring, and that's okay. It is, really, which is perhaps why I'm not feeling overly compelled to change anything. As Carbon Leaf goes on to say in the song above - "I find it hard to complain when compared with what about... I am not, I am not, I am not in need."

Overall, things are very good in my life. Work is going well, I have a home and a neighborhood I love, I have a fantastic family, good friends, and volunteer work that matters to me. Sometimes there's even really notable wins. I've got a bed that doesn't hurt my back, and two cats who are awesome and affectionate.

It's probably more accurate to say I'm adjusting to the boredom. Prior to working for REI, I was in positions 1-3 years. I'm in year 4 with REI, and could happily go many, many more. So, no work drama, and no need to look for jobs (at this point in time). No need (or desire to move). I'm quite a respected contributor within the UUs, and the leadership has evolved to the point I can step back to some extent, something I've been working toward for quite a while now. Things are working well and I really don't have a desire to change them... hitting the middle part of one's life when statis could be the norm for quite a while. That's boring, and I'm okay with it, but it doesn't change that it's boring.

But it does leave me a bit discontented. One, I have no real next goal, a purpose to work toward, something which is a real challenge. I'm still working on a variety of skills, but that's different from the kinds of pushes that make you really grow and learn and change. I'm definitely on a plateau.

Secondly, I'm damn tired of being the odd single girl. Not only am I not dating anyone, but I swear every last one of my friends is married. Maybe not 100%, but at least 90%. There's only so many nights you want to go to a party and be the lone single person. Again here - I'm not willing to date just for the sake of dating, but auughh I'm tired of sleeping by myself. And goodness knows I think I've changed enough that there's a lot to learn with a relationship and it would definitely be a challenge.

And of course it's fall... less light, colder... always a point of discontent, I think.

Get away and come with me.
Come away with me and we'll see
If I was right on that night, that a future was made
Before time takes each year, like a knife cuts it clear
It's school, then work and then life that just sharpens the blade
I think about time for fun.
I think about time for play
Then I think about being done, with no resume
With no one left to blame
What about fortune and fame?
What about your love to obtain?
What about the ring?
What about....