A lot to talk about

It's a cliche - what isn't - but sometimes life comes at you in waves. Most of the people that I would share this link with already know, but in mid-January it was discovered that I had some cancerous calcifications in my breast. There was a lot of good news in the bad news: the MRI was clear, the gene test came back negative (phew) and the cancer is called "DCIS" (ductal carcinoma in situ) which means that it is trapped in the ducts and you don't have to worry about it spreading elsewhere in your body. But that all took a while to ferret out and I'm 36 and my mother was in Hawaii with my sister who had horrible high blood pressure with her pregnancy and I couldn't tell them til after the baby was born.

The baby is wonderful, Kanoa James, born February 11. He's physically healthy. He also has down's syndrome. I'm not there, and from my perspective, this is probably the easiest time: all babies eat, sleep, cry, repeat. He's no different, although he's a lot quieter than his sister Mahina (but hey, she was the opposite end of the spectrum). The fact that he IS physically healthy is a really good sign: and the rest of it we just take as it comes.

This past Monday - three days ago - I went in for the surgery to take out the calcifications. Boy, will I have a great scar from this. Honestly, it wasn't that bad, but there's still a part of you that wants to howl. (and I want to smack the lady that did the IV. Damn that hurt.) I feel fine, and never needed pain pills... not that I ever anticipated this, but I certainly didn't anticipate need to start tinkering with my body this early. It's always been so beautiful and so whole. It's definitely a mind-altering circumstance.

Which leads me to the "life is short" sermon that we all come upon at points in our life. Life is short, and you better do what you want NOW because you never know when you'll no longer have the opportunity to. My own father was probably 3 years away from retiring and doing what he wanted... and he got cancer. Work your ass off, die young. That's not the way it should work.

And it leads me to consider my work/life balance, as we're so fond of talking about at REI. Everyone is so dedicated and has so much integrity and is so pure and we (generally) buy in to the work hard/play hard concept. Don't get me wrong, I love REI, and the last thing I'd want to do at any forseeable point is leave the company. But last year was a hellish year in terms of workload, and while this year seems to be manageable, it's mainly from having had some major budget cuts. So if next year is good - what happens? I'm not really interested in being more productive. I already do a great deal more work than most people can manage in the same time period and furthermore I think I'm pretty maxed in that direction. It's not like if I do my work quicker I get to go home: I just get more work. I already feel like I'm more valuable than my pay acknowledges (though in total REI offers a great package)... I don't really need to put the scale any more in that direction.

Which leads me finally to the Great American Road Trip. Six weeks: 47 days, actually (if you count the first weekend). Start with the Bike MS ride; take off from there. Six weeks is not long enough, but about as much as I can manage. Which leads to lots of trade-offs, but I think the first one is this: is it about the journey, or the destination? I've taken some cracks at where to go and what to do. I'm placing a priority on the NE and the "upper" south (tennessee) as places I haven't seen and where friends and family live I'd like to visit. I first looked at driving less on more days, and then at driving more on fewer days. Tonight I looked at Road Trip USA, and thought about roads. Do I take the slow road and make it about the journey? Do I just head out and see how far I get? Or do I try to plan it and aim for the experiences I want to have, taking as many highways as I can to get there faster?

If you read my last post, the experience was profound, and if one is going to do the Great American Road Trip, you should definitely endeavor to learn something about your fellow americans. Even before all of the above hit, I had a strong desire to spend this year domestically: weak (and getting weaker) dollar; less emissions than, say, traveling to New Zealand; less expensive to have your car and be able to leverage friends and family and campgrounds to make it affordable. And in this era of decline of so many things, how much longer will we be able to see them all? Even if we miraculously figure it all out - as I said - life is short. Who knows how much longer I'll be able to do it? It should be a long time. But one does not know that. Not to mention it has been a long time since I explored America. Most of my U.S. vacations happened when I was in my teens. Ouch!

I've been checking out a lot of wanderlust: these folks biked all over the world. I liked what she said: "50 miles a day isn't much if that's all you're doing." Which makes me think it's about the journey: which makes me think, take it as it comes and see where you get and take the slow road. Hwy 2 on the way there; down the appalachian trail; and across hwy 50 coming back. Can I do that in six weeks? I don't know. But I thinking learning something about myself as well as my country is on the agenda and I think the lack of destination would be good for me.

Thoughts/possible itineraries welcome.... even drop-in companions for a bit along the route. Great American Road Trips really should have sidekicks, you know.